Children & Our World News

How to Help Your Child Cope with World News


When were informed of the savage terrorist bombings in London and daily hear of other natural or man-made disasters worldwide, everyone is shocked, and many of us discuss the day's events with family and friends. What we often don't realize is - our young ones also listen and hear our discussions.

We all want to protect our children, and shield them from anxiety. As a result, our natural tendency is to avoid discussing the events with our children. Since our children live amongst us, hear our conversations, the television reports and the radio with us, they are aware of what is happening, but might not have the background information, the judgment and experience to know how to cope with the world news. They might be affected in ways we don't know about or don't expect. The news might frighten them, depress them, or cause a feelings of sadness and grief.

We need to keep our children informed with what is happening in the world. If we want to have exceptionally intelligent children, it is not enough to teach them reading, sciences and history. We need to educate them, so that they are connected and informed with what is happening all around us, what is happening in the world.

Since you are the parent, and you know your child best, you have to judge what amount of information is appropriate for your child, and in what detail. The amount of information you share with your child will differ by age and may vary from one child to another.

Here are some pointers of how to help our child cope with the situation, understand the news, and even take the opportunity to teach them some history, values and general knowledge.

- Inform yourself about the situation first. Make sure you have the knowledge needed . For example, in the case of London, get a hold of as much information about London. Geography, history, political situation. Get the information that you need, and adapt it to the level appropriate for your child. If it's a conflict between two groups of people or two nations, inform yourself very well about the history of the conflict, the history of all nations involved. In the case of a bombing, for example, prepare a map that will provide for your child an understanding of how far London is from where you live. After you have the background information and the facts, provide the information that is appropriate to your child in an organize and easy to understand way.

- Be honest, don't conceal facts, tell the truth. Our children are very smart, and they know when they are lied to. This might increase their anxiety, or shake their confidence in you.

- Think ahead of time, what values and moral principles you would like to instill in your child, as a result of this event. You can teach ideas of war and peace, value of life, tolerance, freedom. Discuss the event with your child, and use this to explain your values.

- In order to stimulate a good discussion, ask your child what they have heard and what they know about the news. This will give you the opportunity to correct any misconceptions or provide additional information that is needed in order to understand the situation. Ask open ended question, like "what do you think about..." or "what do you think should be done about it...". Let your child express their opinions, feelings and let them think of possible solutions.

- If a conflict is involved, present your child with all sides of conflict. Give your child a good and fair understanding of the conflict and the issues involved.

- Inform your child about any actions that are being taken to remedy the situation. What safety measures are being taken here to prevent similar attacks to occur here, in our environment? What is being done to protect us? Any information that will make our kids feel more secure.

- Have some control over media exposure. We all value the freedom of speech, but we don't find it necessary to expose our children to all of it. Make sure your child is not exposed to very detailed and frightening images that might cause unnecessary anxiety.

- Take a good look at yourself. Do you have anxieties that might come through in this discussion? As mentioned before, children are very smart, and they pick up on our anxieties and feelings. Make sure you communicate with your child sincerely and logically.

If you do all these, your child will be informed, gain knowledge from world events, feel assured that he gets all the information needed. Your child will have the opportunity to voice his opinions and express his fears and concerns, and the bond between you and your child will be stronger than ever.

May we all have more good and happy events to share with our children than stressful and sad news...

Teach Tolerance, Kindness and Respect at an early age!

Teenager vs Single Parent

Are You the Single Parent of a Teenager?

If you are divorced or widowed, or a single parent who raised on a child by yourself from birth, you know that being a single parent is tough. If you are the single parent of a teenager, you have a lot more to think about.

As your teenager matures, they become more independent. They spend more time away from home in extra curricular activities, with friends and eventually driving a car and going on dates.

All of these things may be a concern to any parent, but when you can’t be home much during the day or even in the evening, you are counting on your child to be honest and stay on track.

And that is a lot to expect of a teen during those years when they are tempted to experiment, and their hormones are playing havoc with their brains. However, there are a few things you can do to make your life easier:

First, engage any support network or friends or family you may have. If you know and trust the parents of your child’s friends, ask them for help for starters. That doesn’t mean you expect them to take on your parental responsibilities. It simply means that, if you have to work late, perhaps those parents will agree to feed your child dinner and give them a safe environment in which to do homework, etc. You can pick your child up on the way home and return the favor to these parents by having their child stay overnight at your house on a weekend when they want to go out and need to know where their child is and what they are doing.

Ask sisters, brothers and grandparents to call and check in on your child if she is home alone. Without interrogating the child, ask them to ask casually what they are doing, whether they have eaten, and if their homework is done. Studies show that even latch key kids without parental supervision do better in school and socially if they know that there is someone checking on them – someone who cares. A random visit during the afternoon or evening as your brother swings home from work is not a bad idea either. “I’m just stopping by to drop something off for your Dad”. You can come up with something.

Talk to your child about the fact that you can’t be there all the time and let them know what you expect. Ground rules are important. Homework is done first, before they play video games, etc. Lock down dangerous websites on your computer and, if your child is MORE computer literate than you are, get a computer literate person at work to teach you how to check and monitor your child’s browsing history so you can see where they are going on the internet. Again, let your child know your expectations.

Give your child chores to do to earn money or to earn favors (like going out with friends on a Saturday night) to keep them busy while you are gone. Laundry, vacuuming, walking the dog, making dinner, whatever you need done. Remember, you are a team!

Try to get your child involved in sports, or after school activities and exchange favors with other parents to get your child to games or practices if your child is not yet driving. Structured activities provide discipline and give your child something to do to stay out of trouble.

KNOW your child’s friends. As your child matures, they are exposed to more people and their circle of friends may change from when they were in elementary school or middle school. Get to know these kids and if you have a concern about their influence, watch things very carefully and make a move if you must.

Above all, make time to talk to your child and do things together when you ARE home. Don’t just sit in front of the TV. Go to a movie, go shopping, take him out to lunch and talk. Ask questions gently, and don’t demand information. Find out what they are interested in now, as they grow and mature. Stay in touch. Call from work to chat on a break. Leave notes, schedule special dinners or outings to do things you both enjoy.

The biggest problem a single parent has is finding time to do everything that must be done. But, if you grow away from your child during these critical years, you will have a problem. Teenagers have a natural tendency to bottle up feelings and stop communicating, as they struggle with new feelings and begin to recognize that you don’t ‘know it all’ as a parent.

Same as with Adults - it comes down to "Give and Take" and try not to be a control freak or always negative... Try to always find the "middle-ground" if possible.

Being a Single Parent is a tough Job!